Kelli: I want another baby.
Kelli: No, you don't. Fynn's just 11 months today. He needs to be the baby a little longer.
Kelli: But, I just keep thinking about it, like I'm ready again.
Kelli: No, it would be SO HARD. Seriously. This isn't the Angelina and Brad show, for Pete's sake!
Kelli: Yeah... I know. And where would I put a baby? Ewan and Fynn can barely turn around in their room as it is, and there's nowhere else to put a wee little one.
Kelli: Exactly. Now you are talking sense. You've just gotten yourself back organized and sane again after all the post-partum blues with Fynn. You are on a roll, things are perfect right now!
Kelli: But...
Kelli: NO BUTS!
Kelli: But...it's just there, the thought, eating away at me. Every day, it's there, the suggestion, the desire...the "you can handle it." And I talk myself out of it hourly, but then Amber goes and and posts something really sweet about her little boy, and I see the newborn pictures, and my insides go all gooey and I think, maybe there's a reason for this thought, it just won't go away.
Kelli: Sweet little newborns grow up, and hit their siblings, and spill things and ask questions constantly for which there are no answers, and then they yell at you, and tell you they don't like your short haircut, and many other things.
Kelli: They also lay their head on my shoulder and tell me I'm a cutie, and draw me pictures, and ask fun questions, and love their siblings and pick flowers for me. And I love to teach them.
Kelli: There's nowhere to put a baby in this house, and you'll be living here for a while.
Kelli: *Sigh* Yeah, I know. *Sigh* Let's go look at pictures of the boys when they were born!
Kelli: Okay, but don't start this up again.
Kelli: *Sigh*
November 30, 2007
A "rational" dialogue between Kelli and Kelli
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15 comments:
Hmmm, something in the air? I have been bugging Jon about a baby again. After 3 weeks of saying nothing, the answer is still not now, maybe next summer.
OK, I totally have the same conversation with myself almost on a daily basis now...and Jackson is ONLY 6 MONTHS OLD!!! I'm insane, I need a doctor to look at my brain.
i know...i am there with you...i think..."they are so cute! i could totally handle it" and then I stare at the zombie in the mirror and think..."maybe when I can get more sleep at night!" I think it's just something we were given...this WANT to bring more souls to the earth...be fruitful and multiply, right?
Man, you guys are all thinking three and I'm just waiting to have a second! Oh well, one of these days, right?
mine would be number 5. no it will be number 5. or i'd take twin girls. that would even everything up. 3 and 3. or I could have one now and one in my 40's.... then i would have had kids in late teens, 20's, 30's, and 40's... lot's of options!
you are crazy, ashley! but, i totally understand it! my mom had my brother when she was 43....a surprise, but a very welcome surprise! keeps them young!
maybe a little crazy, but all of our moms have a ton of kids. I can do it. never a dull moment, i love having a big family, it is awesome!
you guys are ALL crazy! I will just borrow all of your babies when I need a fix, b/c this womb is CLOSED!
i think...
ok, so I think I have finally figured myself out. Wait till baby is walking-nursery age to get pregnant. That still means your kids will be around 2 years apart. Enjoy them while they are still babies. We have to take care of ourselves, our bodies! I used to want another baby because the baby is too cute and growing up too fast and it seemed like if I had another one, I could hold on to the sweetness of having a bubbly human being who loved and wanted me no matter what.
Ultimately, Kelli if you are back on track (congrats! feels great, right!) Enjoy every minute of the joy you feel with your little family and don't worry so much about the future. If you are doing God's will, you will have the guidance and strength you need!
Elisa, I totally agree with you, and luckily my rational side is stronger than my weak side. At least in this case it is. I've said since Fynn was born I was going to wait until he was 18 months old. I think I can hold out that long! It's only seven months away, which is crazy!
Kelli I love your blog, it is the most entertaining thing I've ever read. I especially enjoyed this post. And no worries, we had 3 kids in 2 bedrooms and then you just really appreciate the next place you move to!:)
Thank you, Bittles. I tried to look at your blog, but obviously I couldn't because I need to be invited! I would love to look at it, so if it's okay with you, would you invite me?
Kelli I totally will invite you but my blog but I'm warning you as of now it is super lame, no really I promise. I have'nt gotten to where I write cool things like you girls, as of now I just post pics and movies so my mom and sis can see my kids...someday I will sit down and start journaling fun and exciting things like you guys. someday... you are my blogging inspiration!
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