Escape from Alcatraz

In the lovely middle of the night hours, I heard my dog, Sugar, running around in circles and dropping on all fours in her aggressive/play stance. We live in a hardwood floor house, pier and beam, so noises like this are loud and reverberate through the whole house. I thought the rabbit was doing something from its cage to egg her on. I lazily rolled over and asked Bryce to just go let the dog out. Turns out the rabbit had escaped from his cage.

Now, I've been very generous, I think, in letting this rabbit run free 85% of the time. He goes in the cage very little during the day, and at night. I would let him out even more if it weren't for the following habits: chewing on the clothes we're wearing, coming right behind our feet, running circles around and tripping us. He also thumps his hind feet loudly. Google searches have pulled up several explanations for this: sensing danger, expressing irritation at us for whatever reason, etc. I personally think he wants attention. It's so loud when he does it, and never fails to startle us. We have a mud room/laundry room that stays shut to the kids, but has a pet door. Even though that little bugger is "paper trained," and actually has a litter box, he goes in that laundry room and poops everywhere. Luckily he doesn't do it anywhere else, and that room is essentially outside, but still. Ick. Quite frustrating. Therefore, being able to shut him up in that cage is ESSENTIAL to the continued presence of my hair.

Bryce put him back, and not two minutes later, we heard the door slam open and he was out. I gave up, but if you look at the time on this post, you'll see the whole hoopla has caused me to remain awake. It's been an hour and a half. I am so tired from repeated days of late nights and early-rising boys, and it's safe to say, at this moment, with dark circles and tears in my eyes, I absolutely HATE that rabbit. I know, I know, I brought him here, bla bla bla.

Here's the final insult: that little *%#! doesn't even like me much. But he loooooooves Bryce. I think he wants to buy a timeshare with him and adopt African babies. I feel like Bill Cosby: "I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out."