Taking Donations

See, I thought I wanted this couch. But then I saw this one. And oh, my gosh, I would cut off my own toes for that second one. Which is OK with me, because then I'd have an awesome couch on which to recuperate while I learned how to walk again. And when I learned how to walk again, I would wear these shoes. How can you wrong when the description includes this sentence: "this vintage-esque pair seem touched by the green fairy."