Partying for Corgan

This weekend, I had dinner with a bunch of friends, including my sister. It was a "non" shower if you will. I'm very self-conscious when it comes to things like showers. The day of my wedding shower, I literally nearly had a panic attack. I don't know why really - just everyone staring at me and how funny it feels for me when people do really nice things or buy something for me. So in order to avoid that a little, I wanted to just get to have dinner with some of my oldest and closest friends. Granted, it was still a "party" that was kind of thrown for me, and yes, people gave me things, but the fact that it was just like going out to dinner made it seem less overwhelming and I was much less self-conscious.

Ashley, Missy, Sarah and Shannon went all out for me, and it overwhelms me the work and love they put into everything. And then at the dinner, friends from every era of my life were there. It was very interesting to have all of them there together. From my earliest hours on this earth, of course my sister Ashley, who is totally awesome. She is the first person to hold my babies when they come into this world and the one who hands them to me. She's been with me through so many dark days. Erica came and I've known her from the time we were knee-high to a grasshopper in church. My first memory of her is both of us yelling at each other during the primary program because one of us sat on the others' dress. It's such a funny thing to remember. Then from my singles days, one of my best friends I've just been reacquainted with, Marianne, was also there. She is a major reason that I was able to stay sane while Bryce was on his mission. And then during my time so far as a wife and mother, Missy, Shannon and Sarah. They have each been such important parts of my life over the last three years and have put up with lots of my insanity.

There were so many wonderful gifts, some owl-themed (thanks, Ashley! The owl that hoots is among the favorites.) I would post some pictures of the cute clothes, but trust me, after the baby comes and is actually wearing them, I probably won't be able to resist posting a new picture of him every time he wears something for the first time. My actual favorite present was from Missy, who got two of the best pictures from Labor Day and had them nicely framed, along with a third frame giving me one free photo session of the baby. Just seeing our beautiful boys in these pictures taken by someone so talented and able to capture them perfectly... Bryce and I each sigh in disbelief every time we look at them. I'm so excited to see the picture that ends up in Corgan's frame! (And thanks to Missy for all the pictures in this post!)  I want to post about all the presents, but this is already too long! Although I will say the favors that Shannon, Sarah and Ashley made touched me so much that I did shed some tears in an alone moment. The iris bulbs were such a personal touch, and something I'm very sentimental about. I loved everything and I'll be a good girl and send out proper thank you notes this week. (If I'm not lazy this week, I might actually post a picture every day of each one. For my own entertainment if not anyone else's!)

I've posted just a few, but more pictures and details from the night can be found here. Thanks to everyone involved for all the love and I can't ever tell you how much it all means to me.

I just wanted to post a picture of Marianne because I'm still so thrilled she's back in my life. She came over one night last week while the men were working and we just talked for over five hours. I love her. *Sniffle*

One of the framed pictures.

My friends: Erica, Shannon, Sarah, Ashley, Marianne, (me), Missy
Thanks, everyone!  (And a special thanks to Sarah, who covered my dinner.)

Happiest Day

While Bryce was on his mission, I met a girl in the singles ward named Marianne and we became very good friends.  We had so much in common - from music to life's experiences and the fact that we both had tattoos.  She was someone I could be completely myself around and she never judged.  I loved hanging out with her at her house and we'd drive around in my truck and listen to music.  We'd often leave church (our singles ward was pretty lame, at least that was our excuse) and go get something to drink or eat (hey, no judging...)  I just loved her so much and was very sad when she up and got married and left me to live with her new husband in Canada.  The last time we saw each other was during a hurried visit when I was newly pregnant with Ewan.  Besides that little visit, it has been six years since we saw each other. She has moved around a lot over these past years - Canada, Georgia, Louisiana - and so we lost each other's phone numbers and I've just thought about her so much and missed her.  

Today, after I dismissed my primary class, a loud booming voice filled the room and in walked this tall blond goddess to wrap me in a hug. It was Marianne.  I don't think I've ever been so happy to see someone in my life.  Her husband is here for some training, and they'll be in our ward for the next two months.  She had seen Bryce in the cultural hall and recognized him then went searching for me.  I'll be so very sad when she leaves, but for now - I'm so happy that I've been near tears all day.  We sat next to each other in sacrament and it was hard to not just sit and talk the entire time.  We laughed as we kept hearing each other's stomach growling and played with the boys.  We had her and her husband, Blake, over for dinner and it was like no time had passed at all.  They do not have children, which is a shame because they were so amazing with the boys and by the time we left, Blake was giving Bryce some serious competition for Fynn's affections.   

This just goes down as one of my happiest days in a very long time, and she and I plan on seeing lots of each other before she leaves.  They don't really know what they'll be doing after this, or where they will be, but my fingers are crossed he'll find an opportunity here so she can stay close. Here's hopin'.

Labor Day Weekend

I love Labor Day - because it gives us a nice 3-day weekend. On Saturday, at about 4 o'clock in the afternoon, Bryce and I were suddenly thinking, "Hmmmm, let's hop in the car and drive to Austin." So we did. Ewan had been asking to go to a dinosaur museum, and a few days before I had found this one by the UT campus. It was awesome. They had a skeleton of a pterosaur, specifically Quetzalcoatlus, hanging from the ceiling like it was flying over you. I kid you not when I say it was one of the most amazing, awe-inspiring things I've seen in my whole life. The picture doesn't do it justice. It was so huge, and just... WOW. It was so cool. There were also lots of other skeletons of giant bison and some random little dinosaurs. They had different rocks both from Earth and space - just a lot of really neat things. By the time we hit the 3rd floor, I couldn't really walk anymore and had to sit and whine inside to myself. After, we headed over to Jesse and Amy's to visit. We were able to see the baby's nursery and Amy and I compared pregnancy woes. It stinks because I probably won't get to see her baby for a while. I don't want to burden them right after he's born - she has Ashley coming to help and we don't need too many cooks in the kitchen. And our little guy will be coming right after by a few weeks, so I won't be up to traveling. Hopefully it won't be too long. I'd like to see him before he starts cutting teeth!

For Labor Day, the Saunders came over and Bryce made some steak and pork using one of his odd concoctions and it turned out really good. Ewan, Fynn and Ben ran around the house playing trains and Transformers (Ewan's latest OBSESSION.) Then we let them play outside in our two little kiddie pools. They splashed, blew bubbles, and chased the cats. Missy took lots of wonderful pictures. So we take no credit for the ones I'm going to post. It was all Missy! The guys then went off to do a little golfing while Missy and I put the kids to bed. We ate cookies and talked for a long time, even after the guys got back. There's no telling how long we would have been up talking if not for the fact John had to get up at 4:30 this morning. It was so much fun - the only downside being that I had to switch from chair to couch to floor back to chair or couch to alleviate back pain. But, hey, I'll consider it my exercise!
This was about the best Ewan would let her take until she bribed him with more bubbles...
...then he turned into a male model, giving her different poses and facial expressions. This is one I call, "The Kelli Expression." I never noticed those two dimples until Missy pointed them out.

Cutie Fynn, looking like Daddy.

We were out of swim diapers. This thing was bursting at the seams,
until it finally start to fall off.

I post this only because my blog is private. His swimming shorts didn't stay on much better, and I had to run after him at one point to pull them up to a level of decency.

Fynn sat at the edge of the yard and stared at the wind blowing the trees.

BUBBLES!

Cute, hilarious Ben.

This is the face he makes when he says "Juice," "Cheese," or "Shoes."

Such a cool friggin' kid.

Lovely Things

My little sister, Amy, had a baby shower for her first baby last Saturday. Her baby boy will be coming at the end of September, and we're very excited. (Pictures of the shower will be coming in the next week, which I'm excited about because I don't have many pictures of my two sisters and I together as bona-fide grown-ups.) Anyway, as I was leaving the shower, Amy ran out after me saying she had something for me. She is a very talented jewelry maker, clothes-sewer, creative type person (which I envy enormously) and she has been working on embroidery. She had embroidered a bag for me using a Black Apple pattern. Voila:
Very cute, sorry I couldn't get a better picture. Thanks, Amy.

On another note, I am with music the way I am with friends. I am very much a loyalist to a select few bands/friends, and I very rarely let a new person/song/band into my life. For example, I am very much a loyalist to The Cure and Better than Ezra, as well as the good ol' 80s guys like Erasure and Pet Shop Boys. It takes forever before I accept something new. A few weeks ago, Bryce and I each allowed ourselves to buy one album off of iTunes, and it took me over a week before I could pick something. I've always heard of Death Cab for Cutie, but never tried to listen. But, oh, when I did... I have a new favorite. It joins the ranks and status of The Cure and BTE. I bought their album Plans and then later Transatlanticism. And my new favorite song, you know, in addition to all my favorite Cure songs, is "I Will Follow You into the Dark." I love the simple guitar, I love the words, I love his voice. It makes me sigh in happiness. The addition of this song to my limited music obsessions must be documented.

Overdue picture upload

There have been several pictures I've wanted to post, but right now I am the laziest person on the planet, so I'm just getting around to it. Some of these are a couple of months old.

Ewan concentrating very hard on constructing a "crash" with his trains. He loves the crashes, they are his favorite thing ever.

The finished project. Billy, the orange train, was done in by a parachuter. There was also some damage to vegetation in the area.

This is my floor after Fynn ate lunch one day. Seriously, after one meal.

This is from Bryce's birthday when me and the boys stayed up late to make his cake. I didn't think the pictures had really turned out, but I found this one tonight. The way the dog is posing, and Ewan is concentrating so hard on stirring, I just think it is so cute. Of course, that dog lives with Mary Ann, now...

Swimming in the kiddie pool.

Just a good shot.

I have to pull Ruby off of the blinds half a dozen times a day. What you can't see is how they have broken off at the bottom, just this side of white trash territory. I still love her, though. You can see through the window how our dear tree is trying to grow again.

We planted some sunflowers around our mailbox, and the first bloom is particularly spectacular, I think.

Robert Smith Will Save Us All

I have the most awesome husband ever. Yesterday, totally randomly, he surprised me with tickets the The Cure concert. Oh, man. I love the Cure. You've heard me wax poetic about Coke? If Robert Smith asked me to give it up, I would. I really would. Just to thank him for his brilliance. I love his music so much, and by extension, oh, how I love him! I've loved him for so long, ever since I pulled my head out of my butt long enough to listen to his lyrics when I was 12 and Ashley listened to him all the time. I love him for making up words like "angelicate," which just hearing you know EXACTLY what he means. I love the little eyeroll he does when he sings. I love that when he's actually speaking, I can't understand even one word that comes out of his mouth. I love him for turning phrases like these:

"and when i see you kitten as a cat
yeah as smitten as that
i can't get that small
the way you fur
the how you purr
it makes me want to paw you all
and when i see you happy as a girl
that lives in a world of make-believe
it makes me pull my hair all out
to think i could've let you leave"

I could go on and on forever, but, oh man, I just LOVE him. So last night was TOTALLY AWESOME! I swear for the first ten songs, it was like he knew I was coming. It was all the songs that just make my soul melt right out of my pores. If it isn't his amazingly perceptive, poetic, beautiful lyrics, it's the way he plays that dang guitar! Remember my desire to play guitar? Thank him. (You know, if you care to thank anyone for MY desire to play guitar...) And then, beyond those first ten songs, I must have turned to Bryce at least fifty times and said, "This is in my top ten favorite of all songs EVER." Which, yeah, despite the discrepancy, it's pretty much accurate anyway.

We didn't bring a camera, because I thought we'd be too far. But actually, we weren't that far. I was close enough to see the eyeroll! (The layers of black liner he was wearing helped a little, too.) But the lovely girl next to me didn't think me weird when I asked her to e-mail her pictures to me. First thing this morning, the link to her Flickr account was waiting for me, and here are a few of the decent ones.

My bardThe band

This was a fairly new guitarist, to my knowledge. He reminded Bryce and I of one of the Guitar Hero characters. He had this black shape inked around his eye, bald as a pool cue, and a spider-webby shirt thing that looked like a skin of tattoos. But the icing on the cake were his SHOES. Patent leather boots, and I bet they were probably four-inch long platform heels.

Bryce also came back from a bathroom break with a t-shirt of Boys Don't Cry, the best song ever. Or one of the best songs, ever. Seriously, in the top ten. I think this has all earned Bryce at least six months of nightly foot and back rubs and me feeding him grapes. Next time, though, Ashley SOOO has to come with me. Side note: The title was something I saw on a girl's t-shirt last night and I loved it. Side note 2: Bryce said that phrase is from South Park, which I don't know, I don't watch it, but there you go.

Night happenings

Bryce got home at 2:00 this morning, and didn't have a house key with him.  I forgot this fact, and was brutally awakened by the dog barking her head off, of course right outside the kids' door.  I finally realized Bryce must be home, and I stumbled up to let him in, right as Ewan stumbles out of his room telling me he's had a nightmare.  He likes to sleep on the couch when this happens, so I snuck into his room to get his pillow and bear.  There was Fynn, laying on his side, staring at his Gloworm, which he has recently rediscovered.  It was laying right next to him, and the glow was shining on his face as he listened to the music.  He saw me, gave me a small grin, and just continued listening and staring.  I am not even kidding when I tell you that since I had Ewan four years ago, nothing has melted my heart as much as seeing Fynn laying there with that Gloworm.  

After the house had finally settled back down, I was having a bit of a hard time going back to sleep, when my beloved new kitty Ruby climbed up on my pillow, and for twenty minutes proceeded to search through my hair, like she was looking for somewhere to nurse.  But it was like the nicest head massage as her paws just kneaded my scalp.  She finally gave up, realized I don't have cat nipples on my head, and wrapped herself in my hair, where she slept for six hours straight.  Ahhh, I love that kitty.  

(And do you see how you can tell I'm really a cat person?  When I talk about the dog, which is almost never, I only refer to her as "the dog."  I haven't even mentioned the new dog once since he came here.  But get me a kitty, and I'll talk about almost nothing else, and I even refer to her by name.  They are like my family, cats.  It's a good thing I got married, because I would seriously be crazy cat lady.)

A little bit of this and a little bit of that

We have had a really good weekend, starting with a camping trip that has been previously documented here, here and here. There were a few little bumps and odd experiences, but overall it was completely fun, and I can't wait to do it again. I will, however, be waiting until probably October when the lovely state of Texas starts to think about getting cooler. Unfortunately, we forgot our camera, but other people smarter and better organized than us remembered theirs, and we were able to get some cute shots. These were some of my favorites:




Next time we'll just cross our fingers that we can avoid the drunken idiots one campsite over. I'm so glad we have met such wonderful people that have become our good friends. Bryce and I spent the first few years of our marriage virtually friendless, and it's so nice to have had our circle of supporters and confidants expand so much since we moved into this house. Hopefully it's a trend that will continue throughout our life.

Bryce is going to be on a very odd schedule for a few weeks. He'll be home during the day, but will be working the graveyard shift for a week or two, leaving around 5:30 pm and working until 2:00 or 3:00 am. It will be interesting, that's for sure. But it might actually help with my desire to step up my blogging again. With so many hours in the evening to myself, I'm sure I'll be on here quite a bit more.

I just want to wish everyone a very happy Mother's Day! You are all so awesome and we love you.

"What a week I'm having!"

That line is from Splash, when Eugene Levy has been through a week of broken limbs, being hosed down in the street, and falling down stairs. He says it with the best whine, I can totally hear it now, and it perfectly captures how I'm feeling. I love that movie. Have I ever told you about my love affair for Tom Hanks? Another time, then.

Let's start with the fact that for three weeks, one of my kids has been sick. Two weeks ago, Fynn spent nearly five days with a fever up in the 103s. I finally got him all better, in time for Ewan's birthday party, when Ewan popped up with a high fever the following Tuesday. As of this Monday, his fever hadn't even started to get better, so off to the doctor we went, and she determined he did actually need antibiotics. But it took three days before they started to show effectiveness, three days of Ewan having screaming, crying panic attacks because he couldn't breathe and because his fever was so high. Fynn's well-baby checkup was on Wednesday, and he was vaccinated. I've never had trouble with their vaccinations before, but last night, Fynn had a 104.2 fever. Now, I'm usually pretty cool and collected about illness, but fevers make me completely panic. Not to mention one that is 104.2. So while he was getting love and cold water from Daddy, I was doing some research online (not a good idea in this case) and I the first website I found had hundred of accounts from parents whose children had received the very shot Fynn received. Accounts of very high fevers. Seizures. Autism. Death. I went into the bedroom and said, "You will give that baby a blessing RIGHT NOW." He did, and I was completely astonished at how quickly that fever cleared up. It was like a magic wand had been waved. I've never had such a faith reaffirming experience in my entire life. He still has a fever today, but not nearly as high, and hopefully it will clear soon. So after having spent three days this week at Target pharmacy, hopefully we'll all finally be well at the same time.

I have to interject here to say that in the middle of typing this, Fynn was done with his lunch, so I walked over to him to take him out of the highchair, bumped into one of my very pretty plates hanging on my wall and it broke (one with sentimental value that I've had for ten years.) Just thought you should know.

Last night, we received some extremely distressing news about members of our family, which I won't go into, but it's not good, so there's that. Besides the illness, family problems and broken plates - on Wednesday I got into the car to go pay for Ewan's preschool, and the battery was dead. Bryce hasn't gotten home early enough to fix it yet this week, so I've been driving his car. After discovering this morning we were out of bread, I decided to do the weekly grocery trip. Kids all strapped in, halfway down the street, I realize I'm driving on a completely flat tire. In fact, driving on the rim. (But I have an awesome mother-in-law, who immediately came and sat with the kids so I could take her car. Thanks, Mary Ann!) Thursday Ewan threw a royal fit and refused to go into preschool, which resulted in us sitting in the parking lot for nearly half an hour because neither one of us would back down. I did finally win, after several times threatening to dismantle all electronic fun-ness out of the house.

Yucky sidenotes:  my dog peed on the rug, 3/4 of the way into the book I've been reading all week, I realized it actually stinks and can't finish it, and the news about the pregnant man was all over everything.  Ensuring that if I don't have morning sickness, I'll still be nauseated.

Forgive me for being a downer, because I will end on good notes - we got good news about the pregnancy, Ewan is finally better, the sun is shining, my testimony in blessing was strengthened, Mary Ann rocks, and I have eggrolls and Coke in my fridge. And it's FRIDAY. Things are looking up.

Birthday party

Okay, so this totally has nothing to do with this post, but I had to share. I'm sitting here at the desk, on which sit two of our fishbowls. I kept hearing a very light "tap, tap" on glass. I look up to finally see one of my fish, the one we call Stuart, tapping its mouth on the glass in my direction. Over and over again, and loud enough that I'd swear he had teeth. Then it would stop and stare at me. I usually feed them at night, so I suppose he was impatient. Now that's he's fed, he's swimming around happily. Cool. He communicates.

Okay, to get off of that tangent, today was Ewan's birthday party, and he had a really good turnout. He had lots of friends and family over, and received a king's ransom of Thomas the Tank Engine stuff. I kind of feel bad, because Fynn was totally shafted on his birthday - I didn't plan the party well enough among other things. I know he's only one and doesn't know the difference, but it's the principle of the thing. Next birthday for him is gonna be AWESOME. Thanks to everyone who came and showed Ewan so much love. We appreciate all of you and you made it such a wonderful day for him. Anyway, after the party, Ewan and I went on a date to see Horton Hears a Who. We had a lot of fun, and here are some pictures from the party. (I did have some more cute ones of his other friends, but wasn't sure if their mothers would want me publishing their pictures on here. So I'll e-mail some to those moms whose kids were there.)
Playing with his cousins, Hayden and Chloe, whose hair looked totally red in all the pictures by the way. (I'll send them to you, Ashley.)

The cake. Ewan loves when they crash, so I made it crash in the chocolate. The effect was especially genuine seeing as I actually dropped it into the cake.

He was so excited about "Mighty Mac."

Pizza, picnic style. The kids had a blast just running around and being free on this gorgeous day.

Amen, sister!

I've been a really crappy, moody, hormonal friend of late, and completely forgot to publicly thank Shannon for this awesome plate she got for me.
How awesome is that?!  And so, so true.  I love it, and I want you to know, Shannon, I had my last take-out meal on that plate before our take-out fast.  Thanks for thinking of me, you are a great friend.

Fairy godmothers and... elf godfathers?

*And oh, yeah, thanks to my dad for bringing dinner and Tylenol and laundry detergent.  We really do appreciate it.

So, after my hellacious week, I just wanted to say a thank you to everyone who has helped me and mine and been so generous. Thanks to Mary Ann for taking care of Ewan and for watching Fynn while I went to a real pharmacy.  Thanks to Keith for coming out of his den of recovery to give Fynn a blessing, and thanks to Shannon for sparing him.  Thanks so very, very much to Ashley for coming to see us and for making Ewan's day with a new train and for giving Fynn a new sleeping buddy (and for the chocolate and Coke, can't forget that!).  Thanks to Sarah for feeding me while I was having a nervous breakdown and thanks to everyone else for your prayers and kind thoughts. It would definitely seem the prayers are being answered, because Fynn seems completely normal - you'd never know his leg was broken.  And I have faith the rest of him will heal quickly without incident.  

Snips 'n Snails & Puppy Dog Tails

Dread Pirate SlobberBeard

A leap of faith...

Chillin' with Mama

"Gotta hold on tight, hold tight..."

Leave a message at the beep

We will be recording it. And we will be watching it when the kids have gone to bed. With Oreos and milk. "Lost." Between 9:00 and 11:00 tonight, do not call. You will be met with silence. Perhaps send an e-mail. I'll write back when I'm done processing the fabulousness that is sure to be presented to us all tonight. Dearest Lost, thank goodness you are back. Oh, how I've missed you.

And life returns to shades of normal

What a letdown, huh? It's over. Bryce took Friday off, so we've had this awesome five-day weekend, and then *poof!* it's over and he's back at work today. But I suppose it's okay; the last five days have just truly been so wonderful and fun, and made me fall just that much more in love with my little family.

Christmas Eve was nice. We headed over to my parents' house for pizza and presents. At home, Ewan and I left snickerdoodles out for Santa (though I've heard he prefers Coke and Funyuns. Go figure... The cookies were gone at any rate.) and we also left out some cheese for Santa Mouse. Miraculously, Bryce and I were able to get in bed at 11:00, but we couldn't sleep! I was so excited for the boys, and Bryce was wound up. We just talked and talked for hours. I think we finally fell asleep at around 2:30. The boys woke up at around 8:00 and Fynn had a fever, but after some medicine, he was able to enjoy his Christmas. Unfortunately, Ewan seemed to enjoy Fynn's stuff a lot more than his own, which I'll expound on in a minute. We headed over to Bryce's parents' house for presents, and were going to stay until dinner, but Fynn's fever popped back up quite high, so we all went home. Bryce and Ewan went back over there to have dinner, while I had a meal of Denny's take-out at home. Good grief, I can't remember the last time I ate food that greasy. But all in all, it was a good time, and I am so grateful for my family, both immediate and extended, and for this life we have. Unfortunately, I'm the type of person who - when things are going well - starts looking for the next upheaval or tragedy. But let's not get into that.

So, about Ewan's presents. I don't know how much I've mentioned on here what a unique little boy Ewan is. He isn't your typical CARS! TRAINS! BALLS! CLIMBING! little boy, although he does like those things sometimes. But his favorite things are ALL types of music, he loves to identify and guess all the instruments, and reading. His favorite toy in a while has been that Little Einstein's baton. He is very sensitive and sweet, and extremely smart. Over the few years of his life, I've bought him cars and other boy toys, but they largely go completely unused on his shelves, gathering dust. He doesn't like to color, although he loves to paint and do Playdo. So anyway, when consulting Santa on what to buy, I advised lots of games and puzzles to help with learning to read, a few kid instruments. Some brain-teasing toys. He has actually shown a little more of an interest in trains after discovering Thomas, so I did advise a train set. Sure enough, come Christmas day, that was Ewan's set of stuff. But he was playing with Fynn's stuff. Constantly. He just didn't seem overly excited about anything of his own. Then today, in the chaos of their post-Christmas room, I looked around and realized all of the TOYS! were Fynn's. I had inadvertently provided Ewan with a completely "funless" Christmas. I didn't mean to, it just worked out that way. One thing he had asked for a few times was a "car track." So today, we took his Target gift card from Grandma and bought him a really awesome car track. I had to call Uncle DJ to come assemble it for me, but after it was all done, he had a blast, and so did I! The cars go really fast and jump a ramp. So a lesson learned for little ol' me and some good old-fashioned boy fun for my precious Ewan who is constantly surprising me.

Now we go immediately into planning Fynn's birthday party. His birthday is this Sunday, and we'll be having his party on Tuesday since most people are off. It's a dilemma because I don't ever want to cheat him out of a good birthday just because it's so close to Christmas, but what do you buy for a little boy who just scored so many treasures? It's a conundrum, I say.

When Fynn has a fever, he just lays on whoever will hold him, completely motionless but wide awake. For hours, if possible. You can see his little eyeball peeking at me here.

Ewan's loot. While nice, not FUN!

Fynn's loot. FUN!

Opening presents at Grandma's.

Calling his agent, because he's so stinkin' cute!

And oh, yeah, my awesome husband got me a GUITAR!

Matthew 18:4

Tonight were saying our family prayer, and I remembered to ask Heavenly Father to bless those who didn't have families, or homes, or food to eat. After I finished, Ewan asked me why some people didn't have good food to eat or water to drink. I explained that some people didn't have enough money, or that they lived in a part of the world with very little rain or dirty water. "There are lots of reasons," I said, "and we are really blessed to have the things we have. But remember that Heavenly Father still loves those other people just as he loves us." Ewan thought about that for a moment, and then, a little distressed, said, "But, just, Heavenly Father needs more power!"

Verklempt

Perhaps it started with my previous post about a soldier surprising his daughters. Maybe it's the Christmas spirit. Or maybe I'm just PMSing. But I am so overcome today, that I can't stop breaking into tears. The good kind.

I sat down with Ewan to write a letter to Santa Claus. He was very nervous about it, and kept telling me that I had to do it, because he didn't know what to say. It was so sweet, almost like a school boy composing a love letter. After we sealed it and he put stickers all over it, we sat down to talk about Christmas and Santa coming. He asked me if Santa would bring Rudolph. I told him he probably would, but that we wouldn't see him. He wondered how Santa would get in without a chimney. We tossed around some possibilities, the window, the door, possibly walking through walls. Talking about possibly hearing the reindeers' paws on the roof overcame him to the point of jumping and down and shining eyes. I've been worried about how to bring that beautiful Christmas feeling into our home, but seeing his eyes, and his !GASP! at the excitement of it all, I knew he felt it, and I found myself choking up, literally. I started to cry (and that's when I found a convenient opportunity to throw in a plug for the true meaning of Christmas.) I think he was wondering why I was crying. We then looked at pictures of Christmases of yore. Meanwhile, Fynn is cruising along, holding onto the couch, and kept stepping away and taking two steps at a time before he'd fall. So of course I started bawling some more.

I don't get sentimental often, as it's hard to do without sounding like a blowhard and I don't like to expose myself. But oh, man, I have such a nice little life and a wonderful little family, and such a good husband. I knew from the time I was very small that being a mother was my calling. I used to mother my Cabbage Patch Kids like they were real. From the very moment Bryce and I met, we knew we would have this family someday.

I'm just not one of those people that needs to have a huge name for myself. The modern attitude for women is so much about accomplishing something beyond family. It's just not an attitude I understand. Not that I don't think women should strive for big things, I just don't understand those that feel like family isn't enough. I was watching a movie recently, and the main character had two daughters, and she was talking to someone about their talents. She mentioned one was an accomplished painter, and the other was of extraordinary intelligence. She then said, "But those are their accomplishments, not mine. I need something that's mine." I just don't have that attitude; to see my kids happy, finding things they enjoy and excel at will be the pinnacle of my life. Some modern women may think that is sad, or pathetic, but to me it's everything. Sure it will be nice to write a children's book someday, but if I don't, big deal. It doesn't matter.

Okay, okay, now alert the folks at Hallmark they have nothing to worry about, and let's go back to pretending I'm just a cranky old witch.

Warm weather rant and Christmas Cleaning Fairies

I'm fed up. It's 80 degrees outside! Give me a break. I'm sorry , but no, Jimmy Buffet, I don't want to spend Christmas on Christmas Island. How am I supposed to feel the Christmas spirit when I had to go grocery shopping in a bikini* to ward off the heat? I mean, yeah, there's good will toward men, peace on Earth, yada yada, that's all fine and good. But I want SNOW! ICE! COATS! FROSTBITE! Sledding on a chunk of plywood attached to the back of my big brother's Chevy truck!* Or something equally as ridiculous and fun. The fact that I literally have not owned or worn a coat in over a decade speaks to the sad state of Christmases lately. I had hope on Thanksgiving, but alas, it's lost. I can accept there won't be snow, fine, but good grief, give me at least some rosy cheeks and the need for hot chocolate! (*Disclaimer #1 * I did not really shop in a bikini, that would be horrifying. But I wanted to. Disclaimer #2 * Sledding on plywood attached to the back of my brother's truck really happened, on the icy streets of Grand Prairie. I was probably 12 or so. And it was awesome.)

On another note, after a very busy week where I had something going on every day and had no time for house work, I was having a major breakdown on the phone to Bryce over the ridiculously filthy state of my home, and how I wouldn't have time to clean it properly. Then Mariah, our sister-in-law and Mary Ann, Bryce's mom, pulled up out front. While I was glad to see them, I was distressed because my house was so icky. But oh my gosh, they CLEANED MY HOUSE! Seriously. Mary Ann dusted and scrubbed my bathtub, Mariah vacuumed everything and made my bed, they put up toys and dirty clothes and I was able to clean the kitchen. My house looks awesome, and my major crisis was averted. Thank you so much, ladies. Now the house will be clean for our tree we're going to pick out tomorrow. I am so blessed to have the family and friends I do, and I hardly deserve it.